Hermann Park event honors babies lost early

By JENNIFER LEAHY
Houston Chronicle
March 19, 2007

While thousands of families were enjoying a beautiful Sunday afternoon in Hermann Park, hundreds of people gathered in the park's Miller Outdoor Theatre to remember those who never got to experience such a lovely spring day.

The inaugural "A Life to Remember" ceremony, a commemoration of the babies lost through miscarriage, stillbirth or newborn death was presented by local support groups and area hospitals.

"Infant loss is known as the silent death. It's not like when adults die and you have many memories and photos. People tend to expect you to 'move on' after a few months. We hope that this event gives people some sense of peace, a place to go where they can honor their baby's life and say their name," said Jaimie Crump, director of Mommies Enduring Neonatal Death.

Among the speakers was 11-year-old Roger Holloway of Hockley, who recently buried the infant sister he had never known. The girl was stillborn last May to his drug-addicted mother and was being held at the morgue, destined for a pauper's cemetery. He claimed the body and raised money so she could have a proper burial.

'People don't understand'

Janelle, who asked that her last name not be used, miscarried a baby girl less than three weeks ago. She sat in a corner and silently cried throughout the ceremony.

"People don't understand, not even my boyfriend. Everyone keeps telling me that it's for the best, that I'm young and I'll have more kids. But my baby died, and being here around people who make her seem real, and important, is nice," she said.

Though Janelle did not elect to say her baby's name aloud at the microphone, she did write the name on a slip of paper, as did dozens of other families. The pieces of paper will be buried under an oak tree in Hermann Park to honor all area babies who die before, during, or shortly after birth.

More than 100 doves were also released at the ceremony.

A needed event

The event was organized by Denice Foose, who works in the chaplain's office at The Methodist Hospital.

"Nothing was really in place for families who lost infants, nobody was really doing anything for them. Some families don't even get to have a proper burial for their babies," Foose said.

Planning began a year and a half ago.

"This event was so needed for our families," said neonatologist Charleta Guillory. "Each time I lose a baby I lose a part of myself. It's important to treat the whole patient. The most piercing thing to hear is a mother's cry."

Joy Thomas and her husband attended the event to honor their premature twins, who died in May.

"It was nice being outside, remembering them and watching the birds fly away. I like to think of them that way, flying up into the sky," she said.

jennifer.leahy@chron.com

The M.I.S.S. Foundation is a nonprofit, 501(c)3, international organization which provides immediate and ongoing support to grieving families, empowerment through community volunteerism opportunities, public policy and legislative education, and programs to reduce infant and toddler death through research and education.