Anthem woman to be honored with Hon Kachina award

Ask 41-year-old Anthem resident Joanne Cacciatore about her family and she'll likely begin by telling you about her five children. She will then introduce you to each of them as you count. One. Two. Three. Four. Not present is her second youngest child, daughter Cheyenne.

In 1994, Cheyenne died from unknown causes during childbirth, a victim of SADS (Sudden Antenatal Death Syndrome). To this day, Joanne Cacciatore is as likely to speak of her daughter in the present tense as in the past. "Death doesn't end a relationship," she says.

In the months after her daughter lost her life, it nearly cost Cacciatore hers. 

Cheyenne's loss led Joanne into a spiraling descent of inconsolable pain. She stopped eating and sleeping, spent hours crying and even contemplated taking her own life. But in time, she emerged and now helps others endure similar tragedies.

"I made a vow that I would change things, that I would help others, if I could survive," Cacciatore says.

In 1996, Cacciatore established a non-profit volunteer organization known as the MISS Foundation. MISS, whose original official title "Mothers in Sympathy and Support" was dropped because the group supports fathers as well, exists to help parents who have lost a child in any matter and at any age.

On Oct. 13, Cacciatore will slow down her schedule long enough to receive recognition from the Hon Kachina Foundation. For the past 30 years, the Hon Kachina Foundation has awarded Arizonans who make personal sacrifices for the good of others through acts of volunteerism. She is one of nine honorees from around the Valley.

MISS helps grieving parents through support and outreach, education, and advocacy. One of the most important services that MISS provides is HOPE (Helping Other Parents Endure) mentors. HOPE mentors are fellow parents who have suffered the death of a child. They are trained to help families in mourning cope with loss. Outside of these private contacts, MISS has worked in the public arena to enact legislation to ameliorate the lives of grieving parents. Cacciatore successfully lobbied for the Unexplained Infant Death Advisory Council and a law allowing parents of stillbirths to receive birth certificates.

From an attempt to help a few grief-stricken parents in Peoria, MISS has grown into an organization whose reach extends through more than 70 chapters worldwide. The exponential growth of MISS astonished Cacciatore and the foundation she established.

"She has single-handedly created an organization that has grown in ways she could not have imagined," says Dana Southworth, a MISS board member, who nominated Cacciatore for the Hon Kachina award.

While Cacciatore's work for MISS is rewarding, it can also be difficult. "This is not fun," she says. "It's not a job you'd consider a happy job."

Cacciatore spends 40-60 hours a week volunteering for MISS, down from the 90 hours a week she used to dedicate to the organization. And in those hours there are moments of doubt and struggle. Reading on average 200 e-mails per day, she is sometimes brought to tears by heartbreaking stories of children dying. When such moments occur, she peruses a collection of thousands of thank-you cards that parents have sent her and her organization over the years. It resuscitates in her a sense of obligation to help those in need.

"This chose me," Cacciatore says of her work. "It's not something I do because I am a good person. I must do it."

As much time as Cacciatore dedicates to MISS, it is far from all she does. In addition to her volunteer work, she teaches at ASU West, is raising a house full of children and is nearing completion of a doctorate in Human Sciences at the University of Nebraska. She has also found time to publish five books and multiple articles on child death and its attendant bereavement.

"I don't require much sleep," is how Cacciatore explains her ability to juggle a myriad of tasks and commitments.

Cacciatore describes her receipt of the Hon Kachina award as overwhelming and humbling. She views it as an acknowledgement of the contributions of the entire 600-700 cadre of MISS volunteers. "I feel like this award belongs to this beautiful organization," she says.

Above all, Cacciatore believes that any and all recognition of her or the MISS Foundation is a legacy of the memory of Cheyenne.

"I really do believe that one person can change the world even if they're not here," Cacciatore says. "Cheyenne can effect generations." The thousands of parents that MISS has helped through the years might well say the same of Cheyenne's mother.

Those interested in finding out more about MISS can visit the organization's website at www.missfoundation.org.